Why do relationships have to be so damn complicated?
Gray and I finally cleared the air. Twice, in fact. And twice we had mind-blowing sex afterwards. He opened up a lot about his feelings for me, which was a much-needed step after nearly two years. However, he’s still got Florida living with him and I am not trying to push him into making a decision regarding her. I know that one way or another, it will work itself out. It may take days, weeks, months or even years, but it will iron itself out.
However, I don’t really know if I want to let it play out, given the fact that I am simultaneously being faced with a life-changing decision, and one that may never come along again. I am literally talking life-changing here lovies. Some might even view it as a once in a lifetime opportunity.
King wants me to move in with him, and astoundingly the thought of it doesn’t completely freak me out. In some ways, it actually sounds like a good idea. I mean, I’m sure it would be logical to get to know him better before moving in with him, but the thought of just throwing caution to the wind and see where life/love could take us is very tantalizing.
I like King. I can see myself with King, shockingly. He keeps surprising me with his maturity. Only 28 years old but he’s so fucking impressive. He speaks several languages, has lived in four different countries and is a fellow free spirit. He’s driven, and a real gentleman. His dad has taught him how to “be the man,” and it’s a huge turn on to me. I have little doubt I could fall for him, especially since the last time he was here I was mesmerized by everything he was saying. I know full well how rare guys like him are, and the thought of sending him packing is not appealing – not in the least.
We had sex, finally, and it was phenomenal. Having a well-hung stud around who can orgasm then go again 20 minutes later is not a bad thing to have in my life, especially during my sexual peak.
But for some reason I can see myself with Gray more. That could very well be because I’ve known Gray longer. I don’t know.
I’m struggling to figure it all out, but I have finally reached the conclusion that I DO want to be Gray’s girlfriend. That was not an easy decision to reach, and has been nearly two years in the making. But one that I am very sure of. So I guess that’s progress, right?
I also know there is no reason I wouldn’t want to keep seeing King other than Gray. So I guess the only questions now are: Will Gray decide he wants to be my boyfriend? Or will I decide if I want to be King’s girlfriend?
This is a defining moment in not only my relationship with Gray, but in my life. I have not had a real boyfriend, (one that I brought home to meet the family) for a decade. I don’t know if I have it in me to start all over again, especially with a guy who is more than 10 years younger than me.
I feel like I have been transported back to when I was first married, and this is my second chance at doing it up right.
What will I decide? How will I know what to do? All I know right now is that I’m confused. And that’s just what I told Gray in a text last night.
“Laying here thinking about your cock and our amazing sex life. It just keeps getting better and better. You are a true soulmate for me. But I am confused about what to do. Having two relationships is not going to work for me long term, and I do not want to hurt King. He is ready to get serious and I am confused about what I want.”
Compare that to the text I awoke to from King saying,
“You are an amazing woman. It seems like I have known you for a very long time… I feel like your soul is close to mine.”
Two soulmates – One life-changing moment.