Well lovies, as of this moment I have no Valentines Day plans this year, which actually is no different from the past several years. Lol. It’s definitely one of those “relationship kind of days.” But I’ve been enjoying the buzz on social media about this day of romance, and I wish you all a happy one!
For me it’s a good day for me to reflect on lovers, the one(s) who mean the most to me (Gray, basically : P), and I was able to celebrate with him last night. We had a great date, drinks and dinner at our special spot before a verrrrry sexy time back at my place. He was the most attentive I’ve seen him yet, and quite sweet as we made love.
I am sure it was the most memorable Valentines Day celebration I’ve had up until now, and it will be hard to ever top it! Sadly it went sour late last night when I had a fight with Roberto, who phoned me to catch up. Uggh…The passion I have with Roberto will simply never end, I know that. But it’s so far laced with complication by now that I have totally given up on things ever working out for us.
Both Elle and Jez have boyfriends for their respective Valentine’s Day dates this year, which makes me happy for them, since I know that’s what they want, a boyfriend. As for me, I still don’t know what I want, but I do know I’m getting closer to Gray every day, and each time I see him, I feel more and more passion towards him. I guess that means it’s going pretty damn perfectly, eh? I knew a long time ago that we had a good thing between us, and last fall I wrote about how I wanted to freeze-frame our relationship so it wouldn’t get fucked up. And by fucked up I meant boring or blah, no passion, just mundane and lame.
That remains my biggest fear of being in a serious relationship, that the passion is bound to go away simply by getting to know one another TOO well. Thankfully Gray and I are able to walk the line of keeping enough distance between us to ensure things are spicy every time we are together, yet growing close enough to build love. I do think we are in love with one another. Not that either of us has mentioned that, ha ha. I wouldn’t mind telling him that I love him, but I’m pretty determined to let him make the first move in that regard. I’ve given him enough as it is, by recently informing him that I’m taking a dating break from everyone besides him for now. It’s his move for sure.
Miraculously (and it really is miraculous to me) we have managed to keep inching forward, which is way better than the freeze-frame I originally thought I wanted. I guess sometimes things really do work out better than anticipated. The pace we are moving is perfect for me. He still has the live-in “girlfriend,” Florida, which somehow doesn’t bother me. Probably because it is a sure-fire way to keep us from moving too fast and ruining what we have before it’s been completely solidified.
Plus I still don’t know that it would be good for us to be exclusive. I often think exclusivity is what makes relationships boring. I’ve been known to make the claim that marriage ruins relationships, and I guess what that really translates to is “monogamy ruins relationships.” But I am *definitely* in love with Gray. Very much so… and I am really looking forward to seeing where this unique bond will take us. As for now, it’s a no holds barred, rule-free, low expectation and immeasurable passion kind of relationship – my favorite so far!