Yesterday I was kind of a mess about my relationship with Gray. I’m not gonna deny it, since it’s right here in black and white. As I told my friends, I think it was just a combination of events that created the perfect storm somehow. It’s amazing how a day or two can give a person just a little perspective.
But it wasn’t only the time I had to think, along with a good night’s sleep. It was also the fact that Gray did seem to be pretty worried about my feelings and put forth some genuine effort towards hanging in there with me to resolve my concerns. I think simply seeing that he was trying went a long way for me. I would say that we did manage to cross our first hurdle together, but certainly not with the ease of an olympian or anything. Ha ha.
I originally titled this post “Gray and Lola: Crossing the Finish Line” because I thought I needed a metaphor that went along with my hurdle post from yesterday. But in what kind of race is there just one hurdle before reaching the finish line? I mean even the 50 meter race has like 4 hurdles, right? And what the hell is the finish line I’m blabbering about anyway? In this case the finish line is SEX!! And I am pretty sure I probably will envision myself breaking through that tape as I (hopefully) orgasm.
Truthfully though, the race Gray and I have been running has been more of a leisurely stroll along a winding countryside. One where we occasionally stop to bask in the wonderful aroma of a field of beautiful wildflowers, or lay a blanket down on the lush green hillside while we make out before heading down to the pond to skinny dip. (yes, I’m lovesick, I realize this).
The point is, it has been a year next week since I met him. So this has been a long time coming. Literally! He has been overwhelmingly patient with my decision to fuck or not to fuck. He’s never once pressured me. Not even the barest hint of annoyance or exasperation. That is so amazing to me. Even the one time we came ever so close, as he hovered over me and allowed me to rub his cock against my pussy without putting it in. He looked into my eyes and patiently asked “should we?” but had no issue when I said no. He has shown exemplary patience and kindness towards me, so it’s no wonder I’m in love with the man.
I mean, hell, aren’t you guys in love with him too? Lol.
So this morning I awoke with renewed conviction that the decision I made before Christmas to go “all in” with him is the right one. I haven’t told him yet, and as far as he knows we are still meeting tomorrow to have a dreaded discussion about my issues regarding our relationship from a couple of days ago. I almost feel badly that I’m going to surprise him with sex, but then when I think about it, it’s probably better. This way we can have a brief discussion about my meltdown, get that out of the way and then I can pounce. Can you tell I’m excited!? Woo hoo!!!
Waiting a year to have sex with someone is not my usual modus operandi. Hell, I’ve been known to have sex on a first date, on more than one occasion. But Gray is extra special. I knew it from the first night we met, and I haven’t wanted to ruin the potential I saw for us. I’m convinced now that we have constructed a very solid friendship base that will likely stand the test of time. And I think I will tell him that, too. After all, it’s not really fair that you guys get to read all my innermost thoughts, yet I keep them from him! I might as well let him in on a little bit of the fun, right!?
Last year around this time, I wrote about the night I met Gray in the post titled, New Year, New City, NEW MEN!!! It was a wonderful way to start my year, and today I can celebrate ringing in the new year with another exciting first with Gray! Raise a glass lovies, Lola’s gettin’ lucky!