How about a dating update? It’s time I suppose. In my last post I wrote about my near back yard “sexscapade” with Dustin. While that particular moment was indeed sexy, I’ve decided once and for all to end things with Dustin. No, seriously, this is the final time I’ll be saying this, I swear.
Thanks to a recent article, which I sadly cannot locate to share, I had an epiphany. The gist of my “aha moment” is this. With repeated exposure to someone, whatever your overarching emotion is will only get stronger each time you hang out with that person. In my case, the overarching emotion with Dustin was uneasiness, which only got worse the more personal our interactions became. On the opposite end of the spectrum, his overarching emotion is that he thinks I am “the one.” So our emotions were working against one another, thus creating more friction with more exposure. When I looked at it that way, it totally crystalized things for me. So when he texted me earlier this week saying, “I’d like to see you again if you’ve got a little time,” my response was, “Maybe we should talk about where my head is.”
I am actually quite relieved to have clarity about that situation, since it has tortured me for years as to why I couldn’t move forward with such a wonderful guy.
Moving right along, the latest firecracker dancing in the Lola dating flames is Antonio. I have yet to meet this guy in person, but we have been talking nearly every day for the past week, and the other night we actually had phone sex.
I’ll just summarize Antonio by telling you that he’s fucking hot. A spicy Italian/Spanish/Lebanese blend with a Chippendale body, beautiful brown puddles for eyes, a perfect row of straight, white teeth, low-cut black hair and last but not least, a perfect cock. Damn. Few men turn me on the way he has been able to do without even meeting. His voice is low and melodic, yet somehow vibrant and full of happiness. I like him. He’s impressing me. I’m waiting for him to ask me out, which I do think is inevitable. I’m in no hurry, and I’ll let him decide when he’s ready for me.
I do have plans to meet a guy tonight, but I’m just not feeling it, for some unknown reason. He’s good-looking and successful, and seems nice enough, so what’s my issue? I’m not sure. Just feels off, somehow. I think I’ll cancel, or at least ask for a rain check. Sorry Sean. : (
So that brings us to to my relationship with Gray, with whom I am madly in love.
Sigh, Gray. He’s just so great. A true lover and a wonderful friend. He would assuredly be my date of choice over all the men in the world, but as you may know, he still has a live-in “girlfriend” (I use that term in the loosest sense of the word, since he himself does not even refer to her as such). Plus, he has committment issues that put mine to shame. The truth of the matter is that I don’t really care about either of those things, since he’s quite attentive and seems to think I’m amazing. Every time I see him, he leaves me wanting more.
I only saw him once this week, though he did invite me out twice. I am trying to steel myself against being too available to him, since I am still playing his game. Plus, I fall harder for him every time I see him (which makes perfect sense, given that I now understand that my overarching emotion (love) will only get stronger with repeated exposure). I have yet to determine what HIS overarching emotion is when he’s with me, besides amusement and attraction.
I was just getting out of the bath around 2 in the afternoon, when he texted me to say he was out and about in one of his race cars, and asked if I wanted to go for a ride after he got a haircut. It sounded good to me, so he picked me up for lunch in his sleek black race car. I must say that it was quite entertaining to get in and out of, since I literally had to place my body in a horizontal position in order to slide past the “roll cage.” However, once I was safely ensconced in the passenger seat and he sped off, I felt exhilarated to be racing down the road in a turbo boosted dragster, my long hair blowing in the wind and a sexy manly man behind the wheel. Life was good, and I felt only sublime happiness riding shotgun by his side.
We chose a lunch spot close by and as we settled into our booth, he almost immediately began asking about my dating life. I hem-hawed around, feeling somewhat awkward throwing out all my options when I’m kinda dating him. During my second drink, however, I loosened up enough to give him some details and I could tell he was a little jealous.
I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do though, I mean, I’m going to be honest with him if he asks, no matter how awkward it gets. Our relationship is based on honesty and trust. He sat there with his jaw somewhat set as I told him about the antics of some of the latest contenders.
The more we laughed and talked, the more he seemed to want me. It was kind of like a growing feeling of intense desire, I thought. Finally it seemed he was about to burst as he took the orange slice from atop his cocktail glass and began sucking it as he looked directly into my eyes.
“Don’t do that,” I said lustily, as I turned my eyes away from his intent gaze. “You’ll get me all turned on.” Gray said nothing and proceeded to take the slice of lime off the rim and do the same thing, all the while maintaining eye contact and relishing every moment of sucking that piece of fruit. I could almost feel him eating my pussy and I got very wet.
He asked for our bill and took me to my house. He asked if he should park and come in, to which I quickly and happily agreed. Once inside my pad, I turned on some background music and went to the restroom to freshen up. When I came back to the living room, he was lying on my white leather sectional on his back with his eyes closed and a slight smile on his face.
I laid on the other side of the sofa on my stomach so our heads were together and started kissing him. It didn’t take long before he had his cock out, so I knelt beside him on the floor and began removing my shirt and bra. Gray looked at me with a lusty look and gave a slight moan. I proceeded to kiss him, our tongues dancing together as I pulled my pants down to my ankles. I gently took his hand and guided it to my wet pussy while I made a circle with my thumb and forefinger around his dick and rapidly moved it up and down.
We rubbed each other for a few minutes, and I was whispering dirty things in his ear as he turned me on with his fingers. Suddenly he said he couldn’t hold it anymore so I urged him to come with me. We came together, mere minutes after we had begun. I was slightly surprised I got him off with just a hand job, and so quickly!
We laid there with our heads together and chatted for a bit afterwards. He took my hand in his and held it securely against his chest, almost seeming to want to keep me tucked in close to his heart. I was melted by his vulnerability.
When he left about an hour later, he thanked me for making him feel sixteen again. I preened, as grateful as ever that he is subject to my sexual prowess.