You know that moment? The moment that you *just know* you’re in love with someone?
I had such a moment with Gray yesterday.
Now don’t worry, I didn’t say anything, nor *will* I say anything. I have learned the hard way that the guy has to go first in that regard. Especially a committment phobic guy with a girlfriend who is currently living with him. I should note that “Florida” has recently taken up residence in his house while she looks for another place to live. She is gone all week but spends the weekends there. Oh, and she pays him rent! But yes, she lives with him.
He claims having her living there cramps his style, but so far, I haven’t seen much evidence of any cramping. He seems to do whatever he pleases and she appears to be, for the most part, a roommate.
It is not an enviable position she is in; madly in love with a man who clearly doesn’t love her. Thankfully I have a front row seat to that situation and it helps keep me grounded. I will not become *that woman.* It’s just not my style. But since I now find myself in love with him, I must be extra vigilant.
After my date with Dustin last weekend, I was all set to back off from Gray a bit and let Dustin have his chance. As Jez wisely said. “I’d probably end things with Gray so Dustin doesn’t suffer by comparison.” I concurred with her advice, and when Gray asked yesterday if I wanted him to come over for a bit, I declined, attempting to create some space between us. He was very sweet about it, and I could tell by his responses that he cared about my reasons for bailing.
I remained cool and strong until later when I texted him to tell him something about a mutual friend of ours.
Lola: Just saw Ames…Blah blah blah.. (this is unimportant to the story).
Gray: What are you doing around 6? Come to my office and say hi.
And just like that, my resolve to “create some space” between us flew right out the window. But I didn’t care. I was exhilrated by the idea of seeing him at his job. The mere thought of it turned me on, and I couldn’t help but wonder what sort of sexy office scenario we could play out together.
I didn’t have to wonder long. When I walked into his office to see him sitting behind a massive cherry desk, wearing a pair of reading glasses and looking positively scrumptious, I almost melted into a puddle of butter on the spot. I tried to compose my racing heart and took a seat on the plush leather couch across from him. He had the Monday Night Football Pre-game Show going on his flat screen tv on the wall above the couch, and I felt a bit like I was ‘up close and personal’ to all that really mattered to him. Lining the walls were framed degrees, awards, certificates, and pictures. Tons and tons of photos of him with various friends and family members were atop his desk, in the bookcase, and hanging on all four walls of his office. I could quite clearly see that his bonds run deep, and his sentimental side was suddenly showing.
He was doing a fantastic job of multi-tasking; chatting with me, keeping an eye on the highlight reel and filing some paperwork. As I sat there watching him in action, *I just knew.*
He looked up at me and grinned boyishly after saying something cute, and no longer able to contain myself, I said flirtatiously, “You look SO good right now.” His grin widened and he happily replied, “Oh boy.”
That was when I rose from my perch on the couch and walked over to him with the purpose of a woman on a mission. I leaned over his desk letting him see my ample cleavage peeking out of my blue satin shirt with the plunging neckline and kissed him. I slowly slid my body down his, kissing his chest under his raised shirt while rubbing his cock until I finally took it out of his pants so I could see it in all its’ pulsating glory. When my knees found their resting place on the floor before him, I looked up as I slowly rolled my tongue around the head of his manhood. Our eyes met and he moaned, giving me a tender “bedroom eyes” smile as he took my delicate hand in his and clasped it tightly with his strong grip.
It would have been the perfect time to say “I love you,” but instead I pulled him deeper into my mouth until I gagged, reveling in the delicious moment we were sharing.
I texted both Elle and Jez about my feelings today, and each of them had different things to say.
Lola: Unfortunately I’m officially in love with Gray. If there was wine and a date involved I can’t say for certain that those three little words wouldn’t spill out. This obviously pisses me off.
Response from Jez: How did things go? Remember, love doesn’t control you – if it’s something you do, you can feel it and not act on it, right?
Lola: Oh, I won’t be acting on it, I’ll be keeping my mouth shut.
Response from Elle: I know you’re in love with him. I’ve never heard you talk like this, or the way your voice sounds when you talk about him.
Lola: It’s bullshit.
Elle: Total bullshit! I’m quite disturbed about it myself! I’m the crazy lovesick idiot, not you!
Lola: Well obviously I’ll need to ramp things up with Dustin to see what’s there. That should keep me busy for a while.
Sigh. Oh lovies. I *do* wish I didn’t have to distract myself from Gray, but I don’t see any way around it at this point. Do you?