Until a few days ago, it had been two months since I’d seen Gray, though not for lack of effort on his part. He texts me about every day and asks me to do something at least once a week. I’ve been balking for a number of reasons, but none of those diminish the animal attraction I feel towards him. I’ve known him for 8 months now, and it’s been interesting to see the development of our friendship. It’s really true that you can show a man how you expect to be treated and if they are a gentleman, they will follow your lead. I feel very respected by Gray, which only further arouses my interest in him. He has really towed the line with me, and I appreciate him more for it.
Ever since our last outing, he has slowly begun sending texts that are almost “lovey dovey,” and more introspective. Things such as “I miss you,” or once in a while I’ll get a random text out of the blue that just says “Good night,” sometimes when we haven’t even talked all day. I guess that means he’s thinking of me when he goes to sleep at night or something. Then there was this conversation from the other night which uncovered a bit more of what’s inside this fascinating man’s head.
Lola: Hey, what’s going on?
Gray: Hi beautiful, not a whole lot. I have my daughter tonight so I’m just working on my car in the garage. What are you up to?
Lola: Not much, just chilling at home, having some wine.
Gray: Nice. I wish I was there.
Lola: Me too actually.
Gray: It would be nice to have a couple of drinks, maybe watch a movie and just snuggle.
Lola: Really? That would be enough for you? Are you serious?
Gray: Why do you ask that? That would be great tonight. Are you surprised?
Lola: Yes, I’m very surprised. Seems like you’re all about sexual non committed relationships.
Gray: Well there is another side to me too.
Lola: I’m sure. I just haven’t been lucky enough to see it all.
Gray: Whatever happens, I think we’ll always be close, connected. I just sorta feel that vibe with you.
As I read his sweet words, I suddenly felt a burning desire to hear his voice, so I dialed his number. He answered with his trademark low, sexy voice which drives me wild every damn time, and we chatted briefly and made plans to get together the next night for drinks.
I went to bed wondering what he really thinks of me. Questioning in my mind if he’s for real when he tells me that he misses me. As I drifted off to sleep, I contemplated whether I could ever see myself having a romantic relationship with him, but the thought seemed rather unfathomable. We are both too afraid of things getting boring to settle into anything too serious for very long, I decided. It’s best for us to keep things at bay. Keep them simple and spicy.
I guess Gray had been doing some thinking of his own, because when we met the next day, he caught me by surprise.
I was perched at the bar of a cozily lit jazz club chatting with the bartender when Gray strolled up and hugged me from behind. I rose to give him a full-fledged hug and he quickly kissed me on the lips and told me that I looked pretty. We began conversing about a wide variety of subjects and were carrying on in our usual fashion, when he leaned forward and kissed me passionately, with tongue. It surprised me that he was so willing to kiss me in public, especially since we had already run into two people he knew, so I was a bit caught off guard and didn’t know exactly what to think. After he had kissed me properly, he reached over and took my hand and held it steadfastly as we continued our banter. I played with his thumb, enjoying the roughness of his somewhat callused skin while he stayed completely focused on me and our conversation. I daresay that it seemed as though he was almost mesmerized by me, which had me feeling both thrilled and curious simultaneously.
We were discussing the now iconic blow-job at the car dealership when he suddenly questioned, “Why do you like me? I’m really just a pretty old guy by now, and you could literally have any man you want. What is it about me that you like?”
I smiled and said without thinking, “I like the way you handle me. You are not intimidated by me. You match me emotionally and mentally, and we just get along. You’re very handsome and virile. You’re a *man,* I punctuated with emphasis. “That’s just so sexy, and exactly what I go for.”
He beamed back at me, rather preening from my complimentary sentiments.
“Let’s say you and I started dating and fell in love. How would that work with your East Coast guy?” He threw the question out fairly casually, yet I could almost feel intense thought behind it. He was of course, referring to my long time lover, Roberto.
Stunned by the seemingly out of the blue randomness of not only him bringing up the thought of us dating, but falling in love to boot?? This was so unlike the man who sat across from me on our first lunch date and pronounced assertively that he did not want another relationship. I was so mystified by the “new Gray,” that I didn’t have an answer, so I stalled by taking a sip of wine as I collected my thoughts. After a moment I rallied saying, “Who knows? I try never to plan too far ahead because I’ve learned that things have a way of working out one way or another.”
He was satisfied with that answer and reiterated how much he loves my company. “I wonder how it would all work. I have my situation, which I don’t know what will happen with, and you have your thing too…” he trailed off, shaking his head as though it was kind of crazy.
I concurred and the conversation returned to football.