Yesterday I had lunch with Gray and drinks with Anderson. Both ended with a passionate kiss, and both yielded stronger feelings for each man. I’ve come to the conclusion that Gray should become my “friends with benefits” while I continue to date Anderson.
SIDENOTE: I will also be seeing Roberto in a couple of weeks for a mini vacation. Sex will most definitely ensue, and undoubtedly our emotional bond will be further deepened and heightened.
Let’s start with my lunch with Gray. If you follow my blog, you know by now that I absolutely *adore* Gray. We are very tight friends who are extremely attracted to one another. The first night that I met him, about 6 months ago I pretty much fell in love with him on the spot. We had a couple of lunches and I found out he had a long-term “girlfriend” who at the time lived in Florida. Thus, I call her Florida. She has since temporarily moved in with Gray, which he told me at lunch makes him extremely skittish. Supposedly she is looking for her own place and this is just a transition period. Time will tell on that, but for now, that’s the status. I’ll keep you apprised as things progress, obvs.
It does not appear this change in lifestyle will impact our friendship, nor his dating life in general. It seems like he sees whomever he wants, whenever he wants and is not planning to commit to Florida anytime soon, if ever. One thing that I appreciate about his style, is while I may not necessarily agree with the way he handles that relationship, he definitely is straight up with me about the situation. His honesty is so refreshing. Especially when it seems like it would be easy for him to sugarcoat things or just straight up lie. He looked me in the eye and told me that she had moved in. It did catch me off-guard for a minute. In fact, I leaned back in my chair almost like the wind was knocked out of me and said wryly, “Well that’s a buzz-kill.”
But lunch with Gray was interesting as usual. I never know what will happen, beyond the simple fact that I will be drawn to him with a raw animal-like attraction. And God, I just fucking love his unpredictability, a quality I bring to the table myself. A man who matches and even supercedes me in that realm is generally someone I am *quite* intrigued by. When you mix unpredictability with honesty, it’s kinda my kryptonite. ; )
Gray is not the only one arousing my interest, which brings me to Anderson, another scorching firecracker. Anderson is a very successful and respectable businessman who also happens to be a former professional baseball player. He’s younger than Gray by at least 10 years, I think he’s 41. He is a strapping 6’5″, well-groomed, fashionable, and handsome guy with dark brown hair. On top of the already delicious looking cake is a tantalizing icing laden with intellect, conversation skills, wit, honesty and maybe most importantly; a free spirit.
Lord knows I love a fellow free spirit. My ex-husband was one, as was Tristan. I connect with that type of personality because I understand it, I suppose. So when Anderson told me he’s been a boy-toy for a married couple for the past year, it didn’t turn me off, but rather fascinated me. I think what most piqued my interest was the fact that he told me this information at all, much less on our first date! I was very impressed that he had the balls to tell me, so last night I came clean about Roberto… and then threw in the fact that Gray is interested in me for good measure.
After all, he had trusted me with a pretty precious piece of information that he has not shared with any of the other women he’s dated, so I felt he deserved the same treatment from me. And again, while it is certainly not easy to look a guy I really like in the eye and tell him I am planning an upcoming trip to meet a long-term lover (who also happens to be married) for a romantic getaway, it did feel good to get it off my chest.
A fresh start with a really cool guy who I am very attracted to is nothing to shrug off. At least not for me. Being open and honest with him felt good, and I am happy to keep dating him to see what might progress.
But I still don’t know if a relationship is what I want….
And all three of these guys know my situation….
And I know the circumstances of all three men…
We are all free to be ourselves!
Isn’t liberation wonderful!? ; )