I’ve been out of the dating game for a bit. Typical Lola – meet a guy, have a few drinks, give him a blow job, let him finger me, then go back into hiding.
Weird, I know.
The older I’ve gotten, the more picky I’ve become, which I know is a curse of life. But I’d still rather be picky and single then with someone who doesn’t do it for me. I guess once you’ve had someone in your life who DOES do it for you, it’s impossible to settle for less. So I don’t settle. And I have no intentions of ever doing so.
Old news first – JC
I told y’all that I had it up to my neck with JC and his slow complicated ass and basically said as much in a texting session with him a couple of weeks ago. But apparently he has not given up on me. I don’t know why I’m surprised. This is a pattern with me and men. I reach a limit and bail, then they scramble to get their act together, realizing I’m sick of it. While I wouldn’t say JC has necessarily “gotten his act together,” he HAS been way more communicative and a few nights ago he even said he would like to take me to dinner 2 weeks from now. God. I guess he’s busy, and traveling a lot, but WTF! I could be sleeping with someone else in 2 weeks. In fact, if tonight’s date goes well, I probably will be. God knows I still feel a lot for JC, and despite his tortoise behavior, I still have some real feelings for him which I believe deserve a chance to be explored. As usual, time will tell.
Onto the new business – Phelps
Another typical Lola pattern that seems to recur is when men from my online dating site, who for whatever reason, I have lost interest in, don’t give up on me and I suddenly realize I want to meet them. I guess it’s timing or something that fuels that fire. I’m not 100% sure.
Phelps is a guy who I found and messaged first on POF. We traded a few messages, but for whatever reason, I just wasn’t feeling it. I have tried to pin-point why, but so far I haven’t had any luck. Anyway, due to my lack of interest I basically just stopped replying to his messages and figured he would give up. Like many others, he gave me space but would still sporadically send me one-liners. I NEVER replied. Rude? I don’t know. If you aren’t into someone, replying just seems even more cruel.
A few nights ago I got another message from him that simply said: “Still haven’t found the love of your life yet?” And just like that, we were talking again. And that is when all the magic started happening. I wrote back: “Oh, I’ve found him. A couple of times in fact. It’s complicated.” I went back to his profile and decided I wanted to meet him. So I followed up with a second message telling him just that. He replied with his cell number and without further ado, the ball was rolling again.
I texted him to set something up, but then I started to wonder if it was just going to be a waste of time and began thinking I should ask him a couple of questions before finalizing our meeting. So here’s what I did.
Lola: Ok, So I’ve been at this dating thing for a few years and I have picked up some things that work/don’t work for me. Before we bother meeting and waste both of our time, I have a couple of questions. Nothing crazy but things I think I need in a man to go forward in a dating relationship.
1. Where do you fall politically?
2. Do you consider yourself more blue-collar or professional?
I hope you will forgive my bluntness but as I said, I know what I want.
After I sent him that message, satisfied with this new plan, I decided to go ahead and update my profile to further widen the vetting process to future prospects.
Before you read the response from Phelps, check out what I wrote:
I hope you will forgive my bluntness but this isn’t my first rodeo and I know what I want in a man as far as a dating relationship goes.
Please kick around the following two questions as you consider whether or not I’m a viable option for you.
1. Where do you fall politically? – If you can’t wait for the next Republican president to take office, I’m not your girl.
2. Do you consider yourself more blue-collar or professional? – While I am attracted to rugged men…(something about that virility and roughness I guess), I am looking for someone more polished. HOWEVER: My prime pick has elements of both worlds. The man who can walk the line between them is a very good option for me. More succinctly: If you can visit my family farm one weekend, and take me to an upscale wine bar downtown the next, you may have elements of both worlds. To me, that’s hot.
Yep, I thought to myself, this was a brilliant idea, one which I should have done long ago. It should help weed out all of these blue-collar republicans I wouldn’t want to have a relationship with. And with that, I opened up my new message from Phelps to read his response.
Phelps: I understand.
Politically, I’m more libertarian, and feel the less government, the better.
The 2nd question is a lot more difficult. My father was an engineer for a large corporation, but was also from the farm and very “handy.” My family is also very mixed. I have a brother and sister who are attorneys. I have 2 other brothers who would be considered “blue-collar.” I was in the finance world, for 20 years but decided about 2 years ago to start buying real estate and rehabbing to rent. So I guess that makes me a hybrid. 🙂
Yay! His response works for me! At least for a meeting. So tonight’s the night! We are heading to an oyster bar for drinks and oysters. ; 0
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Hazel
Body type: Athletic
Marital Status: Divorced
But the best little nugget was uncovered in our texting session from last night. Wait for it…
He’s had a vasectomy!!! Who’s the lucky girl!!! Hooray!!!
Now let’s just hope we like each other enough for a second date. : )