A few weeks ago I wrote about meeting Big, in the post “Lost in Lola-Land.” He is the guy I originally met virtually through my online dating site and then randomly ran into in person a year later.
After our real-life encounter, I had 3 dates with him, and they were quite nice. We had sex on the second and third dates, then I basically decided I was ready to move on and was planning my normal “fade away” routine. I should note that he has a great cock, is a fab kisser and manhandles me quite well…so the intimacy isn’t the issue. I think I like the idea of him, but there isn’t enough to him to keep my interest so I can’t be bothered with trying to make it work. I know, I probably have a pretty bad attitude. I want a man who intrigues me, fascinates me, hooks me, what else can I say? Is that wrong?
So, I was implementing my fade plan a couple of weeks ago, when Big texted me to say that he was in the hospital having emergency surgery to get his appendix out. Then, due to complications he was hospitalized for a few days.
Well, obviously I’m not heartless, despite the fact that I’m certainly not getting girlfriend of the year anytime soon. So this complication has delayed my plan.
The thing is, now that I’m thinking about it, I really do like Big. So what’s my problem? Why don’t I want to go forward with him?
Time for my 4-tier compatibility checklist. The following are the preliminary areas of compatibility I look for in new relationships.
1. Physical: Attraction, do we share similar lifestyle, fashion, overall tastes, enjoy similar activities? Yes. CHECK
2. Emotional: Is he able to give me the tenderness I require, care about my feelings, show concern, talk about my feelings and handle emotional upheaval without freaking out? Yes. CHECK.
3. Mental: Are we able to connect on a mental level, have probing conversations, analyze shit together, politically similar, share the same humor? Hmm…Too early to tell for 100% certain, but since he’s a republican and not overly deep I’m thinking NO? (Red flag)
4. Spiritual: Can we discuss spirituality, or the lack thereof without having definitive answers, all the while believing in several different sources and respecting each others’ views? MAYBE???
Okay, so it looks as though this is not a clear-cut answer, and it’s still too early to tell. Surprisingly though, Big is shaping up okay so far. So why am I dragging my feet about going forward?
I’m sure there are several reasons, (any therapists in our midst???) but something major off the top of my head is JC, who I’ll be seeing this weekend. Ahhhh JC. He intrigues me, makes me wet, stimulates me intellectually, and is open-minded. In other words….I truly believe this guy has it all, and passes my checklist with flying colors.
So while I won’t write Big off just yet, he IS taking a BIG backseat to JC.
And anyway, JC has had a vasectomy!! Priorities, people! ; )