Please welcome back to the stage…..crazy Lola. Not that I actually ever left, I suppose. Though I *thought* I was getting my love life figured out and was going to be able to sail happily along with no further complications. I *thought* JC was going to get it together, become my long distance lover and we would live happily ever after in our separate towns.
But in the meantime I met Big. And by meantime, I am talking 3 weeks since I last saw JC, which illustrates that he is moving about as slow as molasses. My life moves much faster than that, especially when you throw men like Big into the mix.
Well….it’s about to get wilder… ; )
That was a text from Big a few days ago, in response to me telling him my life has been kind of wild the past few months, with a new city and new career.
Boy, was he ever right about that! Things have heated up at a fever pitched pace since our first encounter just a week ago.
For those of you wondering who Big is… he is the 6’6″ hottie who strolled into my office about a week ago and when our eyes met, I instantly recognized him as someone I had chatted with from my online dating site, when I was living two hours away. Read more on that story here…
Two days after our surprise business encounter, Big went back to the dating site to find me so he could promptly pick me up – Properly, this time. ; )
Smooth. Very smooth. I was impressed. And thrilled.
We met for drinks a few days ago and had a blast. He continued to impress me all night long. He made sure to get me a glass of wine right out of the gate and carried it to our table. We shared some tapas and laughed and chatted very comfortably. I asked him to come over and sit beside me in the booth and he willingly obliged. We touched often and I felt surprisingly at ease with him, as though we had been dating for years. We ended the date by making out like a couple of teenagers in my car before going to our separate abodes.
He immediately wanted to do something again the next night, but I held him off, thinking I needed to tap the brakes a bit since I’m basically gaga over JC. But by last night, I had determined that JC is too unreliable at this point, so I figured why not see where the situation might go with Big in the meantime?
That’s probably where I made an error in judgement. That thought right there.
Big invited me over to watch the NCAA tournament last night, so I picked up some beer and headed over. We really didn’t watch basketball though 😉 (surprise, surprise). He gave me a tour of his home, which happens to be the same house he grew up in, we chatted for a bit, snuggled comfortably side-by-side on the couch, then he went to get his guitar. As he played and sang the song “Wonderful tonight” in his deep husky voice, I decided sex was in order.
Again, probably a key moment of an error in judgement, given this was only our second date, and I have feelings for JC.
But, we had sex and it was pretty good, I must say. He proved to be a skilled and attentive lover, and I didn’t feel awkward with him at all. After sex, we ordered pizza and continued to hang out. That’s a good option for me, since I have intimacy issues and freak out when a guy gets clingy/emotional/sappy too early on. Getting up and getting dressed worked well for me…as it made things relatively casual.
After we ate, we moved back over to the couch to watch some tv, and I was getting pretty tired, so I knew I would be leaving shortly, but I didn’t want to eat and run, so I decided to chill for a few. ; ) He leaned over to cup my face in his hands and kissed me a few times while we lounged. It was kinda nice, actually. Made me feel wanted and cared for.
And when he walked me to my car around midnight, I didn’t have *quite* the sense of dread I’ve had in the past when leaving lovers. I do feel a twinge of wondering if I have just complicated my life again, and I must admit, when I got a text from JC this morning, I felt a little guilty.
I don’t want to hurt Big, and I just have a feeling that I will. Should I tell him about JC? Should I tell JC about Big??? Help!!