Ever since my last date with JC, I must confess that I have been pretty gaga over him.
I’ve been trying like hell to distract myself from those feelings in order to keep my emotions on an even keel, with very little luck. Even the other half-dozen male suitors in my life aren’t enough to keep me occupied.
I’m having all kinds of deep (yes, I said deep) feelings about JC, since my epiphany that he is the one for me. Not to mention that our two-hour dinner two weekends ago was pretty much perfect if you ask me. Stimulating and intellectual conversation, witty banter, a little bit of harassment on each of our parts and holy hell, I do really enjoy looking at him. He just does it for me.
The last person I said all of those things about was Tristan, and before that, Roberto. Before that…no one. Normally the thought of something as endless as those relationships were/are would totally freak me out, but I really do feel like JC is worthy of letting into my heart. I know that it’s still too early to make a long-term decision, and we have a lot of ground to cover, but I can tell you guys that I really am ready to go forward with him and see where it goes.
And the other night I told him just that when I saw him in my dreams. I suppose I’ll need to tell him in real life unless we really are communicating telepathically through my dream waves.
It’s crazy to me, but I have literally been dating JC in my dreams. While I’m sleeping, he comes to me and we spend quality time getting to know one another. It’s really cool, but also kind of indescribable. We frolic, laugh, have deep conversations, and make very satisfying love. Our kisses are amazing and our connection is deep. I wake up and wish I could go back to sleep so I can spend more time with him.
The man he is in my dreams is almost enough that I don’t even need a real relationship with him, ha ha. I am keenly aware of the danger that I’m falling in love with a fictious version of him, which is why I’m trying so hard to resist the deep connection I feel with him due to the power of the dreams. It all seems so real that when I wake up I feel very emotionally bonded to him.
But I’ve determined that the dreams are simply a result of the feelings I already have for him, and I have used my subconscious state to help make a conscious decision to propel me towards getting to know him better when I’m awake. I’ve risked my heart a bit more than normal in some of our conversations as a result. For example, I told him I’m having dreams about him, I’ve told him I’m excited for our next date….and he is responding favorably. We are getting closer every day.
What if the man in my dreams is really who he is? I guess that would make my fairytale ending come true. I am trying not to get swept away by the romance of it all…..
But at the same time…..
I choose to believe in just a *little* bit of magic.