Well folks, it might be curtains for Max and Lola. I am trying to remain very calm and not judge the situation too early or too harshly, given my previous bent towards flying off the handle.
However, at this point, I cannot say the same for Max. But I think I am willing to cut him some slack realizing he is just not as experienced in relationships as me.
As I wrote in my last post “On Cloud Nine at 2nd Base” things were going splendidly between us, and we had plans to attend a Christmas concert this weekend. It has been scheduled for over a month, and both of us were really looking forward to a double date and dinner before the show. It has been 100% smooth sailing since our last date, with a few light phone conversations (all initiated by Max) over the past week. Maybe it is the full moon that has Max doing a complete 180, or maybe I am finally seeing the man he really is underneath that handsome exterior and gentlemanly charm. Time will tell.
This morning he texted me one of those (supposedly) funny quotes. I cringe at the fact that I am even going to put in writing what it said, but for the sake of the story, that is what I am going to do.
******Please note: The following content is considered offensive to me and may be to you as well. Please read at your own risk.*******
“Not every flower can say love, but a rose can. Not every plant survives thirst, but a cactus can. Not every retard can read, but look at you go, little buddy! Today you should take a moment and send an encouraging message to a fucked up friend, just as I have done. I don’t care if you lick windows or interfere with farm animals. You hang in there cupcake, you are fucking special to me, you’re my friend. Look at you smiling at your phone! You crayon eating bastard you!”
He then followed it quickly with: “Sorry for the vulgarity but my buddy sent me that this morning and I almost peed myself laughing.”
Okay. Let’s just take a moment to agree that for the most part, that is a REALLY FUCKING stupid message, and one that is completely inappropriate for a MAN to send to a WOMAN he’s dating!!! Heavy sigh. Now to the crux of the matter. Max knows I have an immediate family member who is mentally disabled, and he also knows what a soft spot I have for that person. I calmly and rationally waited for several minutes before deciding I just couldn’t let this go, and here is what happened next.
Lola: I hate to tell you this, Max, but the word “retard” is not only extremely politically incorrect, but it’s incredibly offensive to me in particular due to the fact that I have a close family member who is mentally handicapped.
Max: I am not a politically correct kind of guy and I don’t think of it that way. Sorry. I think of it as a friend insulting a friend, and saying love ya. Very insensitive I suppose.
Lola: Maybe someday you’ll understand why it’s offensive. Maybe not. All I know is I find it incredibly unattractive when people use the word.
His response blew me out of the fucking ocean.
Max: I don’t want to go to the concert with you. Way too much awkwardness between us. You’re really nice but I feel weird around you. Sorry again and good luck Lola.
WTF!!!!!!!!!! This wonderful gentleman has turned into an infantile 3rd grade boy!!!??? Seriously?? “You’re really nice but I feel WEIRD around you???!!!!” What IS this mess!!!???
Unacceptable, that’s what it is. I didn’t reply for about an hour, until I had decided the best route to take. I finally landed on:
“That’s too bad. I’m sorry to hear you feel that way.”
I’ve gotten no response yet. And I’m not really expecting one, but part of me thinks he actually might climb down off his high horse at some point and realize that just because he said something politically incorrect to which I took offense and called him on, doesn’t necessarily mean I think he’s a TOTAL jackass. I think his response was a knee-jerk reaction to run away and lick his wounds, which may illustrate his profound desire/need to be totally adored/loved. I’m not ready to sit in judgement of Max just yet. He’s spent the past 15 years married, divorced, married, divorced to the *same woman,* so I’m sure his ego took a few hits, and like any of us, he has probably developed some bad “coping mechanism” habits.
After the dust settles, I might extend an offer to get together and talk, I don’t know. One thing is for certain….there’s trouble in paradise.