It’s been a rough couple of months, trying to get closure from my disastrous end with Tristan. What I have determined as of today, is that closure is simply not possible with a narcissist. They will twist the truth to find a way to blame you every time, and just when you think you’ve uncovered the truth and things are relatively peaceful, they will come along and undo it all with some other twist. It’s been exhausting, and in spite of my desire to not abandon Tristan completely, I know that for now, I do not want to be around him.
So as I wrote in a recent post, I have been back in the dating game, although I must say, I have been taking it very slowly. I do not bother meeting a guy unless I feel an incredible pull towards him for a variety of reasons.
Recently I met JC.
JC is another one of those guys who I emailed first, a couple of years back, but then dropped the ball on following through with a meeting due to my own life’s drama. (see also my on/off relationship with Tristan). JC is also another guy who didn’t give up on me. And when all the conditions were right, he dropped back into my life with a sweet little note saying he would still like to try to roll with me. (My headline at the time was “Can you roll with me?”)
I do love moments like that one, when a guy I thought was gone proves he’s still around. I’ve had the pleasure of that feeling several times, and I never tire of it.
So we met for drinks, and it was a pretty pleasant evening, I must say.
JC is a ruggedly handsome guy in his early forties, has his Master’s degree, a good job and a stable life. He really seems to have his act together, and that appeals to me greatly. He regaled me with some very funny stories, which was a real crowd-pleaser, since it’s always nice to know I don’t have to provide all the entertainment.
I arrived first, a couple of minutes early, ordered a dirty martini and tried to look both sexy and relaxed while I waited a bit nervously. When he arrived, it was natural from the start. No awkward handshake or hug, just a smile, a nod and a “hey there” as he took a seat across from me. Already, I was relieved. Nothing puts me more on edge more than a date trying to shake my hand. It’s already so much like a job interview, no need to make it more formal.
Looks-wise, he is a bit shorter than I like em’ but still a couple of inches taller than me. His build is athletic, but more towards stocky than lean, I would say. His full head of hair is a nice mix of sandy blonde with some grays blended in. He had on a stylish blue pin-striped button-down shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans. I didn’t get a chance to check out the shoes, dammit.
We chatted so naturally that it was really almost scary. He’s so easy to talk to, I thought to myself happily, and funny as hell. When he smiled, his eyes crinkled up at the corners, and I liked that. He laughed easily and often at my hilarity, which is a necessity for me. I need someone sufficiently amused by me in order to date them.
Since my first date with Bennet went on way too long and ended so badly, I have a new trick of keeping my first dates short. We each had two drinks and switched to water. After our first glass of water was gone, I decided it was time for me to go. I had all the necessary information to decide if I wanted to see him again, and figured I probably would, if he asked. So I initiated the move to leave. As we walked out, he made sure to get the door for me, and once outside the restaurant, I figured we would go our separate ways to our respective vehicles. I braced myself for an awkward goodbye, but JC had other plans.
“Where are you parked?” He asked.
I motioned vaguely towards the direction of my car, and he said, “I’ll walk you there.” Okay, that’s sweet, I thought happily.
When we arrived at my car, he gave it a once-over, (typical guy) and made an inquiry about my vanity plate. Satisfied with what he heard and saw, he gave me a brief hug and a peck on the lips and I opened the door to get in.
“Hey,” he said, as he suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me back towards him, gazing intently into my eyes. Caught totally off guard, my big green eyes just stared into his equally sparkling green eyes with an open doe-like expression. Unabashedly he asked, “Are we going to see each other again?” I chuckled and said, “Sure, I like you.” A wide grin broke out on his face and his eyes crinkled up adorably as he said assuredly, “Good, you’ll hear from me soon.”
And I did. He texted me about an hour later saying: It was great meeting you tonight. You have a wonderful laugh and you are quite attractive.
A take-charge self-assured man. God, how I’ve been looking for you. We have another date this Friday.
I told Jez about him and the first thing she asked was, you think he’s a dom? Ha ha. Time will tell Jez…a girl can hope.