I swear my life changes dramatically every 48 hours.
Last week I broke up with Liam and got back into bed with Tristan after a 6-month hiatus. Yesterday Liam spent the night. And now I guess I’m back on with Liam.
I didn’t even have time to change my sheets in between lovers.
Two days ago in the post Love the World Away, I expressed how the sexual chemistry and shared passion between Tristan and I is almost addictive, and most certainly it is euphoric. I wrote how I just wanted to crawl into bed with him and make the world vanish for a few hours. I was somewhat concerned about the ramifications it would have on us in the aftermath. Mainly I was worried I would be all gaga over him again. (not that I ever really stop being gaga over him). But I am happy to report that I feel it was a very good decision. I mean, I’ve never subscribed to the theory, resist temptation and it will flee from you. I’m more of a “the only way to rid yourself of temptation is to yield to it,” kind of woman.
He took me out for a very nice dinner beforehand, although that certainly wasn’t something I was expecting or needing. All I cared about was sex. But he asked me to go to dinner, so I agreed.
I decided I may as well go all out for the occasion of our re-entry into sexual bliss, so I donned my black lace skirt, black leather pointy boots with a nice heel, a cobalt blue silk shirt that showed off my boobs and waited patiently for him to pick me up. Since he was an hour late, he had some making up to do, and he started by making sure he opened the car door for me and away we went. He requested a bottle of wine from our maître d’, ordered food for us both, and made sure my glass was never empty. We had such a wonderful time bantering and talking about everything and anything (except our problems). This was a night of escaping our problems, mine in particular.
We got back to my house and he produced a gift bag with something he brought me from his recent trip to Europe. Originally I wasn’t going to accept it, but he was rather insistent, so I reached into the bag and pulled out a beautiful scarf. I admit, I kind of melted at such a sweet gesture. Somehow our clothes fell off and we ended up in the bedroom where a couple of hours of lovemaking ensued. It was wonderful. It may have been the most wonderful time I’ve ever had with him, or at least it ranks right up there in my mind. He slept with me for a few hours, but somewhere in the night I could tell he was ready to go, so I happily released him. I woke up with a smile on my face and a peaceful spirit deep in my heart. I was content again, and that is because of Tristan. I am grateful that he could do that for me, because I really was in pretty bad shape.
I wasn’t even out of the “Tristan love nest” when I got a text from Liam inviting me to watch a rugby match at a local bar. Since we had agreed to stay friends I really thought nothing much of the invite. Thus, I was not at all prepared for what he told me about an hour later.
We were chatting non-stop, as is our usual pattern when we are together, when he said something to the tune of, “I thought everything was going quite well between us and then suddenly you ran off.” He went on to say that he’s had 3 major relationships in his life and I am dancing around being the 4th. That kind of shocked me, given the fact that I thought we were just dating rather casually. By the end of the night he was introducing me to everyone as his girlfriend, and asked if he could spend the night with me.
Still reeling from all of this new data, not to mention still on a high from my blissful night with Tristan the night before, I didn’t know what to say, exactly. So I said, “That’s fine with me, but there is something you should know first.”
“Okay,” he said slowly, seemingly bracing up for whatever was coming.
I took a deep breath and let ‘er rip: “I slept with my ex last night, and I would do it again if I had a chance.”
I have to hand it to him, he handled the news quite well. He asked me if it was good sex and I honestly said, “Yes, very.” He kind of nodded and said half laughingly, “Well that’s good.”
I went on to explain that while I love Tristan, he does not want to be in a relationship with me, so it is a no-strings attached type of relationship. Last night when Liam was drifting of to sleep in my arms his voice trailed off as he half-whispered in my ear, “What are you going to do about this other guy?”
I didn’t have an answer, so I stayed silent and just hugged him.
I don’t know Liam. I just don’t know. Let’s see what the next 48 hours brings.