I have another date with Liam tonight, and after our last date, which you can read about in my post “Liam and Lola’s Slow Burn,” it has been almost impossible for me to put the brakes on the idea of having sex with him. Our sexual chemistry was just so damn hot the other night, and it really has me fired up.
I had lunch with Jezebel yesterday and we discussed how I probably need to back things up a little so I don’t ruin my chance with him. She knows full well that in recent years I have tended to have sex with guys before I am ready. When that happens, I regret it before I’m even out of their bed, and run like hell, never knowing what might have been. Sex before I’m into a guy in every way is just not a good idea for me, it’s like a sudden death to a relationship. Normally, I don’t care about ruining a relationship, but I really like Liam. I think I should try to protect what we have formed.
So I left lunch with Jez feeling resolved to slow things down with Liam, at least until I’m sure that I won’t run off like a bird dog into the woods when we do have sex. But then Liam texted me yesterday and said he kept thinking about our last date, and I got all revved up again.
And today when I woke up, I found myself thinking that tonight is as good a night as any to fuck his brains out. But since I really don’t want to mess this one up, I texted Jez. Our conversation went like this:
Lola: I feel like having sex with Liam tonight. Help me remember why we think it’s a bad idea again?
Jez: Because of the crushing regret you’ll feel afterward? Because as much as you want sex to be recreational, it really isn’t for you.
Lola: Are we sure I’ll feel regret? I’m not thinking I will.
Jez: Are you in love with him? I don’t think, you are, not yet. And if you’re not in love with the guy, you tend to regret it later.
Lola: No, I’m not in love with him, but I wasn’t in love with Tristan when we first had sex either. I just knew I could see myself with him, and I feel that way about Liam too, although not to the same extent. Yet.
Jez: But you also were still seeing Roberto when you started up with Tristan. Things are different in this case.
Lola: True…good point. I think meeting the cock threw me into a tailspin.
Jez: That just sounds like more reason to slow things back down. If it’s really a good thing with a future, going slowly won’t hurt it. I think you’re trying to distract yourself by fretting over having sex instead of letting yourself see where things can go without it.
Lola: I actually think I’m just sex-starved and horny.
Jez: Then get a vibrator already! I think it will put all the pressure you don’t want on things and you’ll flip out.
Lola: Okay, I agree. Thanks.
Jez: You bet, hope that helps.
Thanks again Jez. Having a girlfriend who knows my dating patterns and hazards is very helpful to keeping things on an even keel!