Dating / Sex

Romance Chances Slim With Maverick- Due to Cell Phone Malfunction

I blew my chance with Maverick, all because of the damn auto-rotate function on my cell.

How could auto-rotate ruin a romance, you ask?

I’ll tell you.

You  may remember how smitten I was by Maverick several months ago. He is a very good-looking, tall, strapping, blue-collar sort with soul.  I had a couple dates with him and had decided we might be a match for “Friends with benefits.”  I liked him, but I was still pseudo-dating and in love with Tristan at the time, so I wasn’t emotionally available. But since I barely saw Tristan, I was thinking I could get some extra pleasure from Maverick on the side.

So one night, (I’m sure wine was involved), I was texting Maverick and discussing all the ways in which I like to give and receive sexual pleasure. Before I knew it, he said he should send me a picture of how much I was turning him on. And one thing you should know about me is that I would never refuse a cock picture from a guy I’m curious about. So pretty soon the picture arrived and I hastily downloaded it, excited to see what Maverick was packing.  Once the photo popped up on my screen, however,  my mouth dropped open in horror.

So  many awful thoughts ran through my mind in that moment. Unfortunate lighting? Botched circumcision? Deformity? Rosacea? WHAT THE HELL!!!?? My final thought was that if I had a cock like that, I’d never, ever send anyone a photo of it unless I knew they loved me.  I didn’t know how to respond, so I just sat there in dismay. Then it occurred to me that he was probably expecting an excited response, so I mustered up all my strength to reply, “Wow, that’s a big cock.” After all, the one thing it did have going for it was that it had some size to it.

After that, I simply could not continue a sexual conversation, so I switched gears back to a friendly chat, and soon drifted off to sleep. I think he must have known that I was not impressed, because our texting lessened drastically over the next several days, until it finally became totally non-existent.

Our last text conversation was more than 2 months ago, and was very short and uneventful.  I just kept thinking, I can’t get past that ugly-looking cock. How would I ever be able to treat it like the delicious lollipop I normally enjoy?  A man’s cock should be adored, even revered by its pleasure giver. I just didn’t think I could ever do that for him, and I knew he deserved better.

But this morning I ran across his texts from a few months ago, and realized how sweet and funny he was. So I decided to see if his cock was really as bad as I remembered.  I scrolled back until I found it, almost bracing myself for the distaste I would feel. Yep. There it is, I thought, very unimpressed as I looked at the calamitous photo. It’s just a damn shame that such a fine-looking guy has such a grotesque cock. I forced myself to stare at it a bit longer, almost willing myself to find something good about it besides girth. It was at that moment that I realized something was weird about the angle of his hand in the picture. So I cocked my head a few different directions, trying to figure out what was going on with his hand and leg, when suddenly the photo rotated and I realized it had been upside down all this time!! He must have shot it upside down with his camera phone, so my phone auto-corrected when I got it.

I swear I heard angels singing when the photo rotated. Trust me when I tell you it makes all the difference to look at a cock from the top. The circumcision for one, makes much more sense.

Immediately upon the realization that he has a nice cock, I wanted to suck it. So I texted him and asked him how he’s been. He replied that he has been seeing someone and things are going pretty well.

Well, I guess that’s that. Next time I’ll have to remember to look at the cock from all angles before writing a guy off.



2 thoughts on “Romance Chances Slim With Maverick- Due to Cell Phone Malfunction

  1. Dear Lola, I have had the pleasure of meeting and speaking with you and consider you to be a skilled conversationalist and an intiguing woman of above-average intelligence! However….WTH!!!!!!! You have now been officially labeled as “dying” your hair!! All my love…me!

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