As long as I don’t go anywhere near him, I should be just fine.
I’m talking about Marco, the sexy widower who lost his wife earlier this year. Damn, he really gets to me. I gravitate towards men who mask their pain by using humor or talk of sex. Simply put, they are my biggest weakness.
Why? Who knows. I guess maybe because I understand it. My life has not exactly been a bed of roses. I was sexually abused by my Uncle and my Grandfather most of my childhood, including at least one rape, starting around the age of five and lasting until I was thirteen. And that just begins to scratch the surface of what I grew up dealing with. That is all I really care to say at this point because it certainly is no picnic to revisit my past.
I only share that to illustrate that I understand emotional pain, and I hate seeing someone in it.
I wrote earlier today about meeting Liam for the first time at a party last Friday night, a party which Marco also attended. I was sitting at the bar laughing and flirting shamelessly with Liam when I heard someone say hello from a table behind us. I turned to see who was speaking to me and saw Marco sitting there looking positively sinfully handsome. His black wavy hair and dark eyes almost seemed to shine in the romantic light of the dimly lit bar, and the soft, dark argyle sweater hugging his muscular arms and broad chest was begging for my fingers to touch it. I went over to give him a hug, chatted a few moments and then almost reluctantly went back to my seat next to Liam. I must say that as powerfully attracted to Liam as I am, it was still not easy to leave Marco’s side. That’s a commentary of how strong my attraction to him is.
But since I had invited Liam to the party, and I knew he was there to be with me, I felt I had to give him my one-on-one attention for the night, (something I was successful in doing, by the way), But Marco didn’t like it and he told me as much a bit later on, after he had a few drinks in him. He asked who my boyfriend was, and I told him someone I was just meeting for the first time. He muttered something about being jealous, which I just laughed off. Towards the end of the evening I noticed that Marco had made his way to my end of the bar where he was enjoying the company of two very attractive young ladies. I also noticed rather happily, that he was keeping a pretty close eye on me.
At the end of the evening, I gave Marco a sweet little kiss on the cheek and a brief hug as I walked out the door with Liam. I didn’t think much about his reaction to me and Liam until I saw him the next day.
I ran into Marco going into a restaurant downtown around lunch-time the next day, so we sat and talked for a bit. I mentioned that I had a great time at the party the night before. He just shrugged and quite bitterly said, “yeah, well you seemed pretty happy when you left.” Then he asked me if I had slept with Liam. I was a bit surprised that he really did seem to be jealous, I thought he was just teasing the night before. We shot the breeze for about an hour, quite comfortably, and he seemed almost reluctant to leave. He stood there messing with his keys kind of nervously, and before walking away he asked if I would have a drink with him later that night. I said I might swing over to where he was planning on being for a drink or two.
Since I know my attraction to Marco is off-the-charts sizzling, I figured it would not be a good idea to go alone or I would go home with him. Thus, I recruited Jezebel to go with me.
It’s a damn good thing I did too, because when Marco slid into the booth next to me, in his dark navy dress shirt and gray slacks, smelling all kinds of delicious and said playfully, “hey Trouble,” I absolutely melted. And when he walked away, I told Jezebel that I find myself getting physically aroused in his presence. My nipples actually get hard when he is near me. I do not remember another man ever having that powerful of an effect on me before.
How I will ever manage to keep a lid on my attraction for this one remains to be seen. “Hey Trouble” is right!