I have never understood the types of people who have affairs just for sexual reasons. Both Elle and Jezebel would probably tell you that they understand it, but me? I just don’t get it. When it comes to me and men, I go straight for a soul connection. So emotional affairs are right in my wheel-house of comprehension. While married, my husband had many affairs just for sexual pleasure, so I know first-hand what the answers are when you ask someone why. He always would say: “It’s just sex. I just wanted to feel good.”
Like many other women out there, I have had my share of offers from men who are either married or in a committed relationship and just want to have a good time. I wrote last fall about a Hollywood producer who came on to me. (Lola and Warner Bros.) In the subsequent weeks after he tried to jam his tongue down my throat, he pursued me heavily, and even offered me access to his private jet so I could come and f**k him whenever it suited him. I graciously declined. Also last year, a very handsome lawyer and I instantly hit it off at a party. He was the best looking guy in the room by far, not to mention; funny and smart as hell. We chatted for about an hour, at which point we began to make out in a corner. Someone later came up to me and informed me that he has a long-time live-in girlfriend. I was surprised, because it never came up in our conversation. I just figured if he was coming on to me so openly in front of his friends that he was single. So I asked him about it, and sure enough, he hung his head in shame and admitted it was true.
Now I love letting loose and having a good time, but I can honestly say that sex with a “taken man” just for f**k’s sake has never appealed to me. Maybe because I’ve been the woman that the husband cheated on. Maybe because of my moral code, or maybe I would rather know a man cares and loves me for who I am as opposed to knowing I’m a sex object. Don’t get me wrong, I love to be told I’m sexy and to know a man wants me so badly that he can hardly stand it. But I want to know there’s more to it than that. That’s what really gets me going. If I know there is another woman in his life, it’s less likely I’ll be interested. I’m good enough to be the only woman in a man’s life, I certainly don’t need to be sharing.
I guess we all have our baggage and reasons for doing things. But I really wish I could understand the mindset of someone who just wants to stay in a committed relationship and f**k around. It seems to me that those are the kinds of people who should just be single.
Anyone who wishes to enlighten me, I’m all ears. Tonight I’m just sick of “taken” men pursuing me. But I’d love to hear the thoughts of others.