I guess for every wise, wonderful and respectful man in my life there is also an idiot of gargantuan proportions. Last week it was Dr. Bong, and today I regret to inform all of you (myself included) that the worst idiot of all is someone who I have spent the past 2 years fighting for. A man I truly love and would have (and did) give everything to. Sadly, I am just realizing for the first time since I have known him that he was probably not worth half of what he got from me.
What would a man have to do to go from such a lofty position to the low point he is now?
Yesterday I wrote about a man I was in a relationship with telling me that he wanted to date other people, saying that he was just “comparison shopping.” The man who used that ridiculous term had this to say in response to that post: I wasn’t comparison shopping, I was taste testing!
Not only does this register as the all time high on the “stupidest remark ever by a man to a woman richter scale”, but it carries with it significant weight.
I have never felt so degraded in my life. And believe me folks, that is really saying something. A lifetime of sexual abuse, an ex-husband who slept with countless women during our marriage only to leave me because I couldn’t and I quote “be a dumb bimbo and obey my husband” has thickened my skin to a point where it takes a very low-blow to make me feel this badly.
What his comment says to me is: hey, this is not about you as a person, this is about you as a body part. I have no concern for your feelings, this is solely about your vagina and the pleasure it offers me. Women are objects for me to play with.
How did I go from being someone so special in his eyes to him not giving a damn about my feelings? That’s easy. I was replaceable. He found another playmate, therefore my feelings are of little or no importance to him. I am like a fly on the wall of his grand existence.
The only consolation I have now is knowing in my heart that I really am IRREPLACEABLE. Playmates will inevitably come and go from this man’s life, but none of them will have the heart and soul I do.
I am still glad I gave him by best. We all need someone to give us a chance. We all deserve that. And I gave him one to prove to me, to himself, his family, his friends, his business partners and the world at large that he was deserving enough to have a devoted, attractive, intelligent, funny and heartfelt woman by his side for years to come. He squandered that opportunity with me, and he may never get another chance to have anyone as remotely wonderful in his life ever again.
Not only that, but today he has lost my respect and my friendship. What can anyone say to such a man?