Dating

Lola and Elle on sex appeal

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While there seems to be several agreed upon standards for what constitutes what is sexy in both men and women, we think it comes down to the old adage: beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Elle and I could not look more different, yet we both seem to have a crowd of admirers in each of our corners.  So by taking a look at what we have in common, we just may find the ingredients which make up our sex appeal.  We believe these sexy qualities are the same for both men and women, so guys: sit up straight and take note, because this is what women want too!

1. A winning smile: Yup, it’s true. The only thing you really need to wear to be sexy is a smile.  (of course ladies: a low-cut blouse really never hurts). Lola says: I have received compliments on my smile since I was a teenager. The whole world loves a happy girl. My grandmother always told me two things: Be proud of who you are, and be happy. Simple advice perhaps, and not always easy to follow, but good to remember and even better to impart.

2. Confidence: The best way to learn how to be confident is to remember that what makes you different makes you beautiful. Being yourself, and not apologizing for who you are, are the essentials of confidence.  We love meeting people who are different from us and who wear it with pride.  Love yourself and admirers will be sure to follow. But be careful not to be cocky. This can be a fine line to walk, but if you accept compliments with grace and do not go on and on about your many attributes, you will be okay. Know deep inside yourself that you are awesome, and people will find that out naturally as they get to know you. Practicing good posture is of utmost importance.  Even if your self-confidence is sagging, your shoulders should not.  Elle says: When at the bar, do a quick lemon drop shot, body long and tall, stand with poise, body language open and a throw in a lusty laugh with a little toss of the head. Guaranteed to show that you are oozing with confidence every time.

3. Be a giver: Be interested in others; it is not all about you!  A genuine interest in others will make you magnetic and show that you are self-assured enough to let others take center stage.  Show your generosity by buying the first round of drinks, offer your chair at the bar to the girl without one.  Be engaged, ask questions, make eye contact and listen well, nodding at strategic times to show your understanding and empathy.

4. Class:  We cannot be bothered with tacky or crude.  Yes, we both indulge in swearing when appropriate, but knowing when to keep a lid on it and when it is acceptable to let loose is key.  When meeting somebody new, lean towards a more conservative speech until you have had time to feel them out.  Not speaking ill of others is also part of being classy.  It’s one thing to tell your best friend that someone you know is a gold-digger, but there is no need to say it anywhere else. Speaking poorly of others is a sign that you have low self-confidence more often than not, so even when thinking something badly about someone else, it is best not to say it. Finally, politeness is always to be expected. The basics: “Thank you”, “please”, “may I?”, “excuse me” show true character and class.

Rule of thumb for classy dress: Understated while enhancing your best features. Heels or loafers, nice-fitting jeans and a shirt that matches your eyes is always a winning combo.

5. Humor:  This is a real crowd-pleaser. This is where we get most of our fans.  We have a running list of favorite “quotes” and an even more extensive vocabulary.  We do not take ourselves too seriously until someone takes us there.  More often than not, you will see us reveling in laughter with several men (or women) around us.  We live to amuse and to be amused, equally. Keeping your vocabulary honed will make you even more quick-witted by helping you interject the apropos word at the perfect time to get a real chuckle from your audience. Avoid making crude and obscene comments or jokes. This is just not a good look, and quite frankly, it just makes you look like you are not smart enough to come up with something better.

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