Breaking up / Tristan/Lola

Lola on loving and leaving

I am a fighter. I love hard and give the winner of my heart the best I’ve got and then some.

For almost two years now, I have been doing just that. Fighting like hell for a man I love. Fighting to prove to him that he is worth it, that I will go to the ends of the earth to make him happy. What I have gotten in return is that he wants me to give him some space.  He is not a jerk, and I am no doormat.  He is COMPLICATED, and one thing is for sure…I go for the complicated ones every time.

So how do you go about leaving when you love him so much?  It is just that simple. You have to give the man what he says he wants.  There is no other recourse.  If you continue to fight, he will only retreat further into his cave and you may never see him again.  I have done this a couple of different times during our relationship.  The last time, I went four months without any contact with him. Yes, kudos to me, thank you!  What happened after the four-month hiatus? We ended up in bed together.  This further complicated my life, and I am quite sure it did the same for him.

So here we are again. He is telling me to back off (and being kind of an ass about it too). Luckily, I know that this is a defensive move to keep me away since he cannot control himself around me.  I do believe he loves me and that if he ever gets to a point where he can figure himself out, he will be back for me.

*DISCLAIMER: below paragraph is not applicable to abused women.

So what is the best way to leave him without burning a bridge?  Focus on the good, forget the bad. I sent him a very sweet (and sincere) letter telling him all of the reasons I feel like I am losing such a good man and reminding him of his worth. I thanked him for allowing me to be a part of his life and told him he deserves the best. (and then I told Elle during Skype and wine night what a cold and heartless ass he was to me and now I feel better).

If you have to leave him, the best way to leave is to leave him in love.

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